Wednesday, January 28, 2009

coming to a hault

it has been a long day la.. lots of things came up.... but lately, these few days, i've been worried about the same thing.. having the same question coming up to me almost everynight... my a-level is coming to an end this coming june... and june is just a couple of months away... i have to start my planning everything, what to do, how to get there and ways to get to what i would be doing 5 months from now... it's already a known fact that my family is having a financial crisis, having my father's business to drop from bad to worst... my dream has always to be a pilot.. it has always been my dream since i was in form 2... but now, its not that i've forgone that dream and ambition of mine, but i don think that i am up to the standard to be a pilot... i've tried going for the test and everything, but i've seen people, much older than i am, smarter than i am, and wanting it so much more than i do... i donno... i just see my dream shattering into pieces.... i then have the thoughts of becoming a cabin crew... i know that i might be able to get in, as i have that confidence as i don see much problem in it... but, there comes another problem... all my family members wanted me to be a pilot so badly, having such high hopes, having to thought that i would definitely becoming a pilot.... when i just jokingly told my sis about what if i go into becoming a cabin crew instead of a pilot, she just stared at me with the very stern face, and giving me a big NO... i'm worried.. i'm scared... of all the people in my family, she's the one who're the easiest to accept things and have a very open mind... but now, she said no to me... what if i would have directed the question towards my parents?? they would have just broke down with disappointment knowing that i might not be able to make it... i am just worried and all lost now... someone, please... enlighten me... tell me what to do... teach me...
all worried, lost

1 comment:

liv said...

hey i'm going thru' what u're going thru' now. exactly the same. but my ambition is being a doctor.
dont feel sad. there's always hope, think on the bright side.
i tried talking to my parents before, they feel sad, they have high hopes in me. they thought i can't make it, though i dont mean it that way, it's just that i'm afraid i could not achieve my ambition and i'm just trying to bring up the issue. i thought they'll understand how i feel, truth is, they simply don't.
i thought of being a nurse, which both my parents hates it. i haven't tell them abt it yet.